the sandbox is open.

[0hlalamoderation]

0hlala is now officially open for play!

Before starting, however, please familiarize yourself with our FAQ and our rules.

And if you're not sure what to do in the setting, you can take a look at the weekly newspaper with news of what's going on in the city. You can come with your own suggestions to newspaper articles, memes and other events here!

Several tags are available that you're free to use at your own leisure. At the very least, your entry should be marked as either //network or //log, depending on format.

If you're writing a network post, there is a nifty code you can choose to use, but it's completely mandatory and marking your entry as such in the title and in the tags is completely fine.

I hope everyone will have fun in Paris, allons-y!

network | un: @andthesea

[thelesson]

TÊTE-À-TÊTE.

YOUR PARIS NETWORK.

⚠ language ⚠

Must say, it smells like Paris has deteriorated noticeably in the past five years. Where does one go these days that doesn't stink like shit?

Recommendations welcome.

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MINGLE MEME #1: ARRIVAL.

[0hlalamoderation]

#1, BAGGAGE RECLAIM AT THE CHARLES DE GAULLE AIRPORT

Is there anything more fun than waiting at the baggage reclaim for your suitcase to finally show up (or not show up, depending on your personal level of good fortune)? Yes? Think of all the things you’d rather be doing right now than standing around here, in a queue of people ready to grab at whatever comes their way that’s the right size, right colour. Imagine yourself, already at the hotel, drinking a delicious, chill cocktail. Or playing tourist at the Eiffel Tower. Or foodie in the Latin Quarters. So many options, no such luck.

Here you are; a suitcase comes rolling down the carousel, you’re sure it’s yours, the same size, same colour, same small sticker on the side, right? Well as you move up the conveyor belt a bit to reach for it, so does someone else, your hands almost colliding mid-air. You hesitate, so does the other person, so long that the suitcase you both think is yours almost continues around the bend.

What’s more fun than having to fight a stranger over your luggage? Honestly?

#2, TRAFFIC JAM AROUND THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE

Is it a stereotype that the French drive like madmen? You don’t know whether it’s a stereotype, but it’s currently very true. A huge traffic jam is happening in an unruly circle around the Arc de Triomphe and you’re caught dead in the centre of it. Your taxi driver assures you it’ll clear soon, but you are just watching the taximeter tick on and on and on, counting all the euros in your wallet. Is that how your trip is going to end, pennilessness and poverty?

You’re been in the same place in the queue for twenty minutes, and at this point you just can’t take it anymore. The passenger door of the car up ahead opens and a person gets out, beginning to zigzag between cars at a standstill, honking ensuring.

That’s it, you think, this is my chance at freedom. Throwing a couple of euro bills at the driver, more than enough to cover the trip, you kick the door open as well and jump out. The driver yells after you, “you’re crazy!!” But you think, stereotypically speaking, Mr. French Person, you’re the crazy one, and run - after the other person, catching up to them after a moment.

#3, THERE'S BEEN A ROOM MIX-UP AT THE HOTEL

The hotel, finally! Home, sweet almost home! No luggage misidentifications, no traffic jams, no queues. The receptionist looks up your booking number in the system and the expression on their face becomes a little sour, your heart immediately sinking in your chest. Oh no. Not this, too.

“I’m sorry, but we’ve overbooked,” the receptionist says in a perfect English, “your room is already in use and all other rooms are occupied as well. Do you want a refund? I’ll have to find my manager.”

I want my damn room, you think, but compose yourself, asking whether it would be possible that you might talk to other person who’s been given your room, to come to some sort of agreement. You have no energy to try and find another hotel at this hour. It was a big suite you’d booked, maybe it has a sofa, maybe they wouldn’t mind… Oh, hope springs eternal.

Looking at you for a long time with an unreadable expression, the receptionist finally takes pity on you and hands you the spare key. “I’ll call them up and let them know you’re coming.”

That’s all the help you’re getting.

network | un: @dracarysss

[poisonfanged]

TÊTE-À-TÊTE.

YOUR PARIS NETWORK.

⚠ text speak, bullying a sibling (or two) over social media ⚠

icymi my investigation of d great paris stink has led me to d seine & behold d culprit:



lol yw
fllw me on tt for upd8s 👌

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